Support a Gay
If you don't know how to be an ally, this post will not make you cry.
Gay!
This summer is going far too fast. How is it almost July?
Last month I complained a lot about some books that I read and didn’t like, but this month I’m talking about the books I did!
The Will of the Many: I couldn’t put this down. It’s bro-Roman-Empire-sci-fi in the best way. If you’ve ever read Red Rising, it’s very much those vibes. A page turner with a crazy Act I finale and midpoint twist. My fave book of the past several years.
Dungeon Crawler Carl: I only got to read half the first book because it was due back at the library, but it’s so much fun. A romp of a book. It’s in the LitRPG genre (which means it mimics Dungeons and Dragons and other types of role-playing games), but I still found it accessible and hilarious. Princess Donut!!
Lost Lambs: This was a debut novel that got a lot of attention and press earlier this year. Usually that means the book is pretentious and full of trauma, but I’m happy to report that this book was hilarious and takes nothing seriously. The beginning starts a bit listlessly, but the pace and funny prose keep the momentum going. If you have a dark sense of humor, this may be for you!
I also have to shoutout the documentary Bring Me the Beauties on HBO. It’s utterly insane. It’s amazing what hot people can get away with!
In terms of my own work:
I’m querying my Young Adult novel to agents. So far I’ve received 1 rejection and lots of radio silence. The book is a banger, so I’m not worried.
I’m also working on a murder mystery. The pitch is: What if the Hardy Boys grew up, came out, and retired in Florida? It’s been a blast to write.
That’s all for the personal updates. Below you’ll find a PSA for supporting your gays during Pride this weekend. Please, do your part.
~Cue Sarah MacLachlan music~
My Creative Stuff
How to Be an Ally for Your Gay Male Companions
Quickie: Tips for allies who don’t know what to do during Pride month.
This week is the final week of Pride Month, so I thought it was imperative to help others support their queer friends. Everyone will forget us next month, so please take the time to reach out to your favorite L, B, T, Q, I, A, 2, or + this week before we go back into our crypts until June 2027.
I can’t speak for any of the other letters, but I do have some advice for those of you who would like to show support to gay men before the end of the month:
1. Buy a gay an iced coffee. If you know a gay man, he will love an iced coffee. I don’t know why, it’s just how it is. How do you solve a problem like Maria? Why do fools fall in love? When these questions are also answered, we will discover the reason that a gay man will run over his own mother to get a chilled cup of java. If you’re trying to show support or trying to win a gay over, there is only one solution: Iced bean juice. The larger the better.
2. Listen to a D-tier diva. The shoulders of gay men are tired (even the ones with roided-out deltoids). We are constantly supporting many pop stars that the world has forgotten: Bebe Rexha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Willa Ford, Blu Cantrell, Zara Larson—we are the ones going to their concerts, cheering them on at Pride events, and buying the fifteen vinyl variants that they produce. We’re tired, y’all. Please step in and put a Bebe Rexha album on repeat on your favorite streaming service. You don’t even have to listen, but all of us will appreciate the boost in streams that this will provide. We can’t do this all alone.
3. If you’re in a group of straight people and one gay man, throw a conversational bone. Mention one of the big three: Drag Race, Real Housewives, or musical theater. If you don’t know anything about them, that’s fine. Most gays just need you to crack the door open and they will charge through and tell you three hundred things you never wanted to know. Some bland starters: “Is the new season of Drag Race on?” (There is always a Drag Race season going. Somehow… I don’t even know how it’s possible, but at any point in time there are 4-15 drag queens in a cave being filmed to stream on Wow+.) “What’s your favorite Housewives franchise?” (A softball that gays will hit out of the park.) “I’m going to New York next week. Is there anything I should see?” (It’s okay to zone out. No heterosexual actually wants to hear anything about the gay version of Cats on Broadway, but you’ll give a twink from Iowa a chance to talk about it.)
4. Use a gay slang word. This will make a gay happy and earn you street cred from the male homosexual community. Some suggestions:
“Slay!” Say this when a gay does anything above average. You know what? Say it even if it’s below average. Your coworker finished their TPS report? Slay! Your gay neighbor took out their trash? Slay! Your homosexual friend put on clothes? Tell them the outfit “slays”.
Ask a gay “for the tea”. Just like with gay Cats, you don’t have to actually care what is said in response. Most gays will spew drama like a five-year-old talking about their favorite Minion. But set them up so they can get on the gay soapbox. “How was the weekend? Any tea?” For bonus points, feel free to say “Slay!” at any point in the tea spilling to show you are paying attention.
This one requires some research, and is a bit advanced, but figure out what category your favorite gay male is part of: otter, twink, twunk, bear, daddy, etc. Then, when they do something above average, pump them up: “Slay Twink King!” or “Yas, Daddy!” They will appreciate being seen as a member of their community.
5. Touchtunes your love to them. If you’re in a bar, especially a straight one, put on a song with a little homo twist. It doesn’t have to be from one of the D-tier divas. Some Cher, Shania, Brittany, Christina, ABBA, or maybe some Manilow. For fun, put it on then clandestinely stare at the gay when the song begins. There will be a reaction. They may even just start belting. Or spin around and say, “Who put this on?” Then probably proceed to search the bar like a horny meerkat looking for the other gay who played it.
That’s it! We need your support this month. In just a week it’s going to be The Fourth and there will be lots of Kid Rock playing everywhere. We need our strength to get through the next 11 months. And Bebe Rexha needs you.
But seriously, if you want to support the Queer community, just show up! Read a book by a queer writer; go to a local queer art production; donate to a local queer charity. If someone says something homophobic step in:
“Chad, that was not slay.”
“Karen, that was not very daddy.”
Happy Pride!!!!!
Conclusion
Have a great Pride weekend!
This month’s song is one of my fave gay jams. It’s sonically queer. I don’t know how else to describe it <3
Slay!
Ok first of all, how dare you call CRJ a D-tier diva. Secondly, did you see she announced a new album for fall? Even though she literally has a newborn??? We don’t deserve her